PERSONAL TRAINERS
Yours Personally…
“I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma”, said the
Wizard to the Straw-Man-Personal-Trainer, accompanying Dorothy and
friends. And Toto barked happily, knowing that you can’t teach new dogs
old tricks…
Beyond Oz, notice boards in health clubs bulge with
flyers, declaring that Dave, Dee, Dozy, Titch, Mitch and Michelle are
thoroughly diploma’d. They declare that they are poised, willing to take
your bodies in hand, to guide you through individually supervised work-
outs, at your convenience, to transform you into the svelte, mean machines
you’ve always suspected lurked beneath those wobbly bits you schlepp
about.
Scattered everywhere in gyms, diploma’d instructors direct clients,
supervise movements, reckon repetitions in officious files. The English
language furnishes collective nouns for just about every profession. Even
for whores or sex workers, they’re abundant: a jam of tarts, a flourish of
strumpets, a frost of hoars, an anthology of pros, a pride of loins. But,
for personal trainers, what possible term signifies the paradox of a
collection of the creatures?
Certainly, personal trainers are flavour of the month today, offering
the luxury of one-on-one training. In ancient times, before exercise
machines lit up like Vegas shows and personal training referred only to
nappies and potties, gyms were smaller and privately-owned businesses.
Proprietors knew the names of all their members; each was given
personalised exercise schedules with assistance from staff to execute
routines correctly. Currently, with the growth of mega-health clubs and
the demise of the local gym, it is much easier for the hesitant trainer to
vanish anonymously into the scores milling about the workout machines and
equipment, unsure of whether their exercises are being executed properly
or whether their routine will best meet their particular needs and goals.
So, who really needs a personal trainer? Those suffering from
specific medical problems, such as diabetes, hypertension, spinal or joint
aches would benefit from exercise programs developed to meet their
profile, and closely monitored by someone aware of their ailment. The
obese or over-fat, who have made the brave decision to take control of
their destinies by committing themselves to a disciplined eating and
exercise program, are ideal candidates for the support of a personal
trainer. Those with particular sports goals, or persons wishing to reshape
their bodies, add muscle and/or lose fat, but with the direct
encouragement of an assistant who is in possession of greater knowledge,
are also ideal potential clients. Ultimately, everyone could profit from
working with a personal trainer.
In profit, however, lies the rub. The personal trainer is an
expensive privilege, available only to those who can afford the luxury of
paying anything from R150 to R450 an hourly session. Often, boasting of
one’s personal coach at dinner parties adds a measure of social cachet,
one more name to be added to the list of exclusive hairdresser, shrink and
pottery instructor.
But, for those who can afford the services of a good
trainer, the health and fitness advantages are manifest. The ideal
personal trainer should first achieve a sound assessment of your initial
state of fitness, through screening and testing you and making sure that
your medical practitioner has found you capable of following an exercise
program. S/he should establish exactly what it is you wish to achieve,
haggle(!) and then indicate what is possible, given your profile. S/he
should be able to advise you about sensible dietary practices and provide
you with helpful principles concerning eating nutritionally-vital meals.
These should always reinforce the varying exercise routines that you
practise, under the watchful eye of the expert who should teach good
technique and execution of every movement.
Essentially, your personal trainer should help motivate you, show continued interest in your improved state of fitness and emotional satisfaction, all calculated, finally, to empower you to take greater and more fruitful control of your own life.
From the ideal, to the real. Personal trainers, like all other groups, include in their numbers a full spectrum of talents. There are The Good, The Bad, and The Unctuous.
The Bad are often represented by the growing army of fresh-faced enthusiasts to whom the Wizard gave diplomas, but little else. With minimal experience in developing their own bodies by practising the exercise routines they prescribe, or in applying the eating principles that they themselves have not put to the test, they dispense diploma advice with rote conviction.
The Bad can be seen, either gazing indifferently at others in the gym while their clients struggle through repetitions, or staring intently at their reflection in the nearest mirror. I’ve observed one stare at a can of frozen juice for an hour
because it said “concentrate”. Also playing on the team for The Bad are
the Exercise Nazis, those who impose strict discipline and 1200 calorie
regimes, intimidating their clients and inflicting guilt and trepidation
at every session. They often prefer married male clients, as these are
already used to taking orders! This type of personal trainer is definitely
the boss, but, remember, boss spelled backwards is “double S.O.B”.
Watching one of these in action, I was asked by some one next to me what I
thought of his execution. I said I was fully in favour of it. Bad personal
trainers, like nappies, should be changed regularly, and for the same
reason!
The Unctuous are those personal trainers who exude fake enthusiasm at
every move their clients make. They pedantically count each repetition
completed, urging their training clients on and cheering every set. This
patronising of adults is less than reassuring and the unctuous are much
like country and western songs: they have different names but they all sound the same.
The elite category of The Good is made up of those talented
individuals who work confidently at being Lifestyle Consultants. They use
their accumulated knowledge and experience to guide their clients towards
adopting healthier and fulfilling life styles. Exercise and balanced
nutritional practices are introduced into the daily habits so that
permanent changes occur in the lives of their clients. Encouraging those
in their charge to settle for achievable goals, motivating them to
persevere in the changes undergone, and working, ultimately, to empower
their clients to continue progressing under their own steam, without the
presence of their guide, should be the final aim of the good trainer.
S/he, after teaching the client to exercise regularly, to eat sensibly and
moderately, should be able to release their convert to fitness with the
final words of wisdom, “Go thou, and thin no more”.